Top 5 Robot Movies: I will preface my Top 5 Robot Movies list by stating there are plenty of films I didn't even consider until after the fact, Short Circuit being the most obvious. So I apologize to all the Steve Guttenberg fans out there. But let's move on with the list, shall we?
Blade Runner:
Terminator 2: Judgment Day:
Bonus Thoughts/Questions: I consider myself to be a big believer in watching a movie however the director originally meant it to be seen. Which is why this problem comes up: Do you watch the original version or the restored version that has soundtrack contributions from Pat Benatar, Freddie Mercury, and Adam Ant? Quite the conundrum.
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey:
Bonus Thoughts/Questions: Does anybody else find it strange/ironic that some of the most lively, non-monotone acting Keanu has done is when he is supposed to be a robot?
Godfather Part III
Watch the clip below and try and tell me that Sofia Coppola is not some sort of automaton in this movie. Fast forward to just before the one minute mark.
“All those moments will be lost in time. Like tears in rain...Time to die.” This, of course, is the famous soliloquy by Roy Batty (played by the always awesome Rutger Hauer) in the dystopian future neo-noir film Blade Runner. It would be hard not to have Blade Runner on this list because it should be on any “top” list if you are able to put it there. It has been recognized not only as one of the best science fiction films of all time but it’s stock as generally amazing film, over time, only seems to go up in overall critical reception.
The premise is there are robots, known as replicants, they are indiscernible from “real” adult human beings. There are enforcement agents, or blade runners if you will, that are hired to “retire” the replicants. There are a handful of replicants who search for ways of extending their lives. They decide that Rutger Hauer isn’t enough to carry a film and at which point Harrison Ford is hired to hunt them down. The movie brings up many philosophical debates about what exactly humanity is and if there is room for artificial intelligence to be accepted on the same level as conventional human beings. There are multiple times where the most humane acts come from Rutger Hauer and the aforementioned line at the beginning of this post is one of the more beautiful and touching soliloquies in cinema history.
You’ll often find yourself feeling upset for the replicants and thinking that the “real” humans are pricks. I find that really defines the duality of man: part empathy and part asshole. And humans are usually more asshole than empathy. If there was a recipe for mankind it would probably be about 4 parts assholes and 1 part empathy. And then add 3 eggs and a stick of butter. Wait, nevermind. I am mixing my baked human being metaphor with my snickerdoodle recipe. Anyway, Blade Runner is good. Watch it.
Bonus Thoughts/Questions: Is Daryl Hannah hot in this movie or just really weird looking?
Terminator 2: Judgment Day:
I can only imagine what my life as an 8 year old would have been like without this film. It made me very afraid of nuclear holocaust and playgrounds. I shouldn’t have known what the former was and should have been enjoying the shit out of the latter.
T-2 has everything: Explosions, Arnold, Bobby Budnick on a dirtbike…everything. Oh yeah, and robots, because that’s what this list is about. The best thing about T-2, however, is it is the last movie to not overstep it's bounds with CGI. They knew what computers could do with film and they used it to complement the rest of the film. Now-a-days you would you think some filmmakers (ahem, Michael Bay) wouldn’t even know how to make a film unless 85% of it used green screen and giant computer animated monstrosities. And even though the maker of T-2, James Cameron, is one of the biggest perpetrators of the excess of stupid CGI and gimmicks (why the fuck does Titanic need to be in 3-D? Also, why did Titanic need to be made in the first place?) I still must give him eternal props for making this fine piece of film.
Here is a clip of the alternate ending. (Apparently decades from now orange overalls will make a comeback and so will cassette tape recorders for taking dictation.)
T-2 has everything: Explosions, Arnold, Bobby Budnick on a dirtbike…everything. Oh yeah, and robots, because that’s what this list is about. The best thing about T-2, however, is it is the last movie to not overstep it's bounds with CGI. They knew what computers could do with film and they used it to complement the rest of the film. Now-a-days you would you think some filmmakers (ahem, Michael Bay) wouldn’t even know how to make a film unless 85% of it used green screen and giant computer animated monstrosities. And even though the maker of T-2, James Cameron, is one of the biggest perpetrators of the excess of stupid CGI and gimmicks (why the fuck does Titanic need to be in 3-D? Also, why did Titanic need to be made in the first place?) I still must give him eternal props for making this fine piece of film.
Here is a clip of the alternate ending. (Apparently decades from now orange overalls will make a comeback and so will cassette tape recorders for taking dictation.)
Bonus Thoughts/Questions: So we are supposed to believe, in the sequels, that John Connor goes from being Eddie Furlong, to Nick Staahl, to Christian Bale? I am sorry but that is where the story loses plause for me. I believe in time travel and robots becoming self aware causing the apocalypse but Eddie Furlong turning into Christian Bale? C'mon now.
Metropolis:
Metropolis: Fritz Lang’s classic German expressionist film set in a futuristic urban dystopia. This film has to be on this last because I have a cinema degree and it is the scholarly (pretentious) thing to do. I have never actually seen this film. That’s right, the guy with the cinema degree hasn’t seen one of the best silent films of all times. I somehow saw F.W. Murnau’s Sunrise about a hundred times (que only people who went to film school and overly artistic assholes to laugh at that one.) but have not seen this, not all of it at least. What I have seen of it make it seem strange. People march around they are in a Pink Floyd video a lot andt here is a robot lady that gets brought to lift in a similar fashion as Frankenstein…but a robot. So yeah, if you like Germans, robot ladies, and flying cars and shit, THIS is the movie for you.
Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey: I am hesitant to put a movie with Keanu Reeves in it on the list, mostly because I don’t like thinking about Keanu Reeves. BUT the Bill And Ted series has a special place in my heart. The premise is that human Bill and Ted get killed and replaced by evil robot versions of themselves. They must fight their way back from the afterlife to try and save the future and their fiancés (the medieval princesses from the original.) This movie stands out for a few reasons: 1.) Keanu Reeves is tolerable because he plays an idiot. He is good at playing an idiot. It suits him. 2.) It is the last time anyone can recall seeing Alex Winters (Bill) 3.) It was the last movie to use the word “fag” in an attempted to be good-natured comical way. I am not saying I agree with its use or context but I always find it amazing to look back at movies and up until about the early to mid-90’s the word “fag” was somewhere in between “damn it” and “shit” on the “swear words okay-ness list.”*
*To my knowledge no such list actually exists.
Bonus Thoughts/Questions: Does anybody else find it strange/ironic that some of the most lively, non-monotone acting Keanu has done is when he is supposed to be a robot?
Watch the clip below and try and tell me that Sofia Coppola is not some sort of automaton in this movie. Fast forward to just before the one minute mark.
Bonus Thoughts/Questions: Is that blood or oil (robot fuel?) Also, this is one of those times in films when I know the audience is supposed to be very upset but I can't help but giggle. It's similar to how I laugh when that kid gets T-boned in Remember The Titans. Is this bad filmmaking or me being a bad person? I am guessing a little bit of both.
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